Me, Myself and I.
Today was the first day of my annual leave. What did I do to kick it off, you ask? Well, by being a taxi-service for my other half. I drove him and his mother to the airport at 3am, so they could catch their 6am flight to Rome, Italy. I was, of course, invited when the trip was being booked. However, I didn’t have the required funds readily available – and couldn’t have my partner cover the cost for 3 people.
Admittedly, I am jealous that I’m not there. The culture, the architecture, the food – ugh the food, I’m jealous of that. However, it will be good for the two of them to spend time together. They hardly get to see each other once a year, so the time they spend together, should mean as much as possible. My partner is very close to his mother, talks to her at least twice daily by video call. I’ll give them their time together.
So today, having fallen asleep at 7am – ish – I woke up around 1pm. A quick breakfast, and I took myself off to town for a coffee date with my thoughts. I’m always thinking about my future, personally, professionally, relationship-wise.
I have a plan for my life. I want a house, I want kids. I want to progress with our relationship status, frequently discussing engagement with my partner. He’s not always thought of marriage as a proclamation of love or unity. He feels it doesn’t change what a relationship is. Where he grew up, he’s seen couples separate, parents divorce, or one moves out permanently. Including his own parents.
He doesn’t think marriage makes a family. And honestly, neither do I. Marriage does not define a family. But it does define a relationship. I believe marriage is a proclamation of unity, of choosing that person as your person, forever. I’m not naive. I know that just because you get married, doesn’t mean you’ll never break up. I know divorce and separation are common occurrences. And nobody gets married, anticipating divorce.
For me, when I think of relationships, more specifically my relationship, I want progression. I don’t want to hit 40 years old and still have the girlfriend title. I want the next stage. My partner and I have been a couple more than 4 years, dating nearly 5 years. We have been living together for more than 3 years.
That means, for us, we’ve been at the same stage for at least 3 years – a couple living together. And our journey has been a struggle for the bulk of this time. We met during Covid, so date locations were limited, with our first date August 2020. We moved in together December 2020 – not by choice. Too early for my preference, but circumstances led to it.
I would have preferred taking more time to know each other before moving in together. For me, it was too soon for us. We come from different cultures, and we were on different courses in life. I was working my way up the career ladder, and he was in classes to learn English. And we weren’t ready to be with each other every day.
But we stuck together, worked our way through our differences and disagreements. And I think we’re all the stronger for it, now living in our 3rd property together – our first rental without other tenants. Our own place. And we’re the happiest we’ve been.
He’s finally managed to find professional work. I’ve become successful in my career, did some college courses and have gotten a new job locally. Everything is falling into place.
But our relationship still feels the same.
I don’t want to force him. But I want the next step. It’s a tricky subject to discuss, without disagreements occurring or pressure building.
We talk engagement and kids. He doesn’t want to have kids away from his family. He wants to wait until his family have relocated to Ireland – which is our eventual plan. But we don’t know when that will be. And I don’t want to put my life on hold until then. What if that’s 5 years from now? Or longer?
We need to build our life together. And we need to do it on our terms. Nobody else should dictate when we set our plans. It’s our lives, our future, our kids (to be).
I know what you’re thinking – typical woman, looking for a ring and the white wedding. And to be honest, women can want that if they want. Me, I want something simple. For a while, I was thinking, let’s get our house first, with a big garden, then we can get married in the garden, a small ceremony and a party to celebrate. Now however, I’m leaning more towards elopement. Travelling a few countries, getting married while away, and then having a party to celebrate with family and friends.
And with that, I don’t even want the wedding right away. I want the engagement. And then we take a few years to save for the trip/wedding.
Engagement. Kid. House. Wedding. That’s my plan anyway – hopefully within a 3 to 4 year period.
Today is June 16th, 2025, and that was a deep-dive into my thoughts on my relationship.
RAMWrites 
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